| 2:59a |
@@@@@I've had my eye on Roth from the
@@@@@I've had my eye on Roth from the beginningHe's no good, he's lazy, he's shiftless, and he don't take an interest in anythingI hate these fathers who bitch because they finally got caughtHell, what about us who been sweating it out for a couple of years and Lord knows how long to come? We were fightin' when they were screwin' their wives, and maybe screwin' ours too
Brown shifted his weight angrily on the cartridge boxes and looked out at the jungle, rubbing his hand reflectively over the bridge of his short snubbed noseYeah, what about us, he said to himself, sitting out here in a lousy hole in the rain, sweatin' out every goddam noise while those women are on the loose havin' their own sweet time? I should have known better, marrying a two-timing bitch like thatEven when we were in high school, she was rubbing up against everything that wore pantsOh, I know a lot more now, I know that it's a mistake to marry a woman 'cause you can't make her any other way, holding out on me for all that time, and even now I don't know if she was cherryThere ain't any such thing as a clean decent woman any more, when a man's sister will go up to him and tell him to mind his own business because she's fooling around and her husband's out of town, it's time for a man to open his eyesThere ain't a one of them a man can trust out of his sight; how many times have I picked up a piece from a married woman with kids, it's disgustin' the way they all act
Brown took his rifle off his knees and laid it against the machine gunIt's bad enough with all a man's got to worry about out here, with guys like that fuggin Roth who fall asleep on guard, and trying to keep the details straight so no man has to work more than his share, and always wondering if today is the day you get it, so that you'd think a woman would have the decency to keep her legs closed, but, no, there isn't one of them that's worth a snowball in hellAll the time we're out here beating our meat for company, doing it till it's disgusting, but what the hell else is there? I oughta quit 'cause it breaks down your confidence, and I'd be feeling stronger, but how can ya without a goddam woman and nothing to think about? All the men do it
And right now what is she doing, she's probably right in bed talking to a guy this very minute and they're figuring out what they're gonna do with the ten thousand insurance on me when I get knocked offWell, I'm gonna fool them, I'm gonna live through the goddam war and then I'm gonna get rid of her, and then I'm gonna make my markThere'll be a lot of ways for a man to make some money after the war if he isn't afraid of some hard work and taking on some responsibility, and I'm not afraidAll the men say I'm a good noncomI may not be as good a scout as Martinez and I may not have ice instead of blood in my veins the way Croft has, but I'm fair, and I take my job seriouslyI'm not like Red, always goofing off, or thinkin' of a smart crack instead of working, I really try hard to be a good noncom 'cause if you succeed in the Army there isn't any other place you won't succeedIf you have to do something you might as well do it right, that's what I believe
Some artillery fired continuously for several minutes, and Brown listened to it tenselyThe boys are really getting it now, he told himself, sure as hell, the Japs are attacking and recon's bound to be in the middle of itWe're a hard-luck platoon, there's no doubt about it, I just hope nobody gets hurt tonightHe stared into the darknessI'm real lucky being left behind, he told himself, I'm sure glad I'm not in Martinez's s |